Self Confidence: How To Build Your Confidence In Three Simple Steps

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To Feel Confident – A C T

A new, more exciting and happier life is yours when you know how to

build your confidence. You can do it with these three simple steps.

You grow in confidence by accepting challenges and overcoming

obstacles. The three elements involved in becoming more confident are

represented by the word ACT.

A stands for ACTION

You have to do something to overcome obstacles in order to grow in

confidence. In other words, do not say, “When I get confidence, then I

will sing.” First you start singing. Then, as you sing, you will grow in

confidence. The secret is that first you must take action without having

confidence in order to build confidence. The next two steps are what

make your action effective.

C stands for COURAGE

It takes a lot of courage to act when confronted with difficult obstacles

and challenges. Without courage most people simply stay in their

comfort zones.

How to get courage

You get courage in many ways. The best way is an inner belief that you

can do it no matter how discouraging things get. Most people don’t have

this strong inner belief, and, therefore, need encouragement. As you can

see, the actual word -courage- is inside the word encouragement.

You can get encouragement is from other people. Cheerleaders in your

life can give you the energy and motivation you need to keep on going.

Be your own cheerleader. Imagine a time when you were confident and

use that experience to give you courage in your new adventure.

Powerful encouragement can also come from reading inspirational

books and poems, and from listening to audio CD’s and watching


T stands for Target

You must have a goal in mind that you want to accomplish. You need

something to aim at. At the same time you need to be open to

unexpected results. You may get a pleasant surprise, a result that is

different from, and even better than you expected.

By – taking action – with courage – aimed at a clear target-, you will be

accomplishing your goal and at the same time building your confidence.

This confidence will carry over to help you conquer bigger and more

difficult challenges in other areas of your life.

How confident are you? The author, Harriet Meyerson, founder of The Confidence Center, will give you a Confidence Quiz and weekly confidence building tips in her email newsletter. When you subscribe you will also receive a list of the Top Ten Employee Morale Boosters, and the Top Ten Confidence Boosters. They are F.r.e.e on her web at

Copyright Harriet Meyerson. At The Confidence Center we work with companies who want to raise employee morale and confidence – on a shoestring budget. We offer seminars, telephone seminars, books, eBooks and many more resources.

* Editors, you have permission to reprint this article in your newsletter, or post this article on your web with a live link, please.


The Nuts and Bolts of Self Confidence

The Basics

Though we had little control over the initial processes that established and configured our self esteem and self confidence simply because we were young and had not developed the knowledge and experiences necessary to defend and protect ourselves against outside influences, that is no longer the situation. Now we can go back into the programming and evaluate it from a new and more intelligent perspective and toss the thinking patterns and habits that are negative and unproductive and replace them with new and more relevant instructions. This time it will be the result of what we decide is right for our own best interests rather than those of someone else or some social ideal or agenda.

But when it comes to changing our thinking and behavior patterns, it is very helpful to understand how we acquired them in the first place. Generally, the initial sources of influence were parents, school, social environment (such as peers), self esteem (our initial estimate of self worth), courage and faith.


If we are fortunate enough to have parents who are intelligent, caring and thoughtful, then we grow up in an environment in which we are accepted for what we are rather than always trying to be what our parents want us to be and perform to their expectation of what we should be, and so have to deal with their disappointment at our failure to please them and achieve their goals. If we are fortunate enough to have parents who actually care about us more than themselves and their own interests, then our parents will be encouraging and supportive of our attempts to become independent and successful, otherwise we may never develop the self worth and confidence that is actually natural to us and can only not develop if we are tampered with by outside influences including parents. Parents are powerful but not necessarily good or valuable influences.


School and genuine education are not necessarily the same thing. Generally speaking, modern schools are little more than child care solutions for the teenage human life forms because the so called adults simply are not yet intelligent enough to figure out how best to utilize young humans in the current social and economic configuration of civilization, which may reflect on their own lack of genuine education. That said, schools today are more about social networking and random personality development and however shallow and superficial it may be, it is never the less a powerful influence on the developing mind. If you are not prepared by your parents with strength of character and strong self worth before you enter this arena, you may well have your spirit crushed here.

Social Environment:

Usually a spinoff of school and the tendency to group by interests and personality, this influence is more about the reinforcement of the school influences than anything else. Its power is in the amount of time we are exposed to it. This is where the power of conditioning comes into play in our lives along with the influences exerted by media such as television and games which are extremely powerful influences that have extremely powerful affects.

Self Esteem:

This is a basic that is established initially in the home by the parents and then reinforced by our interaction with the outside world. The outside world will automatically reinforce our feelings of high self worth or low self worth depending on which we bring from our home environment. Self worth should never be dependent on anything other than the fact that we are living creatures. If it is based on anything else, it is in peril, and this is a critical fundamental upon which whole lives are built or destroyed. Confidence in ourselves is not likely to develop from a position of low self esteem.


Courage relates to spirit, and sadly many children have their spirits crushed early in their lives by demanding and thoughtless parents. It is incredible to think we have laws against marijuana and not against incompetent parents. There is a huge need to establish intensive training and certification of parents before they are allowed to undertake the extremely important responsibility of raising new human life forms. This need is based on the fact that our species is devolving rather than evolving. Courage is linked to the excitement of being alive and exploring possibilities and those activities are in turn linked to how much confidence and faith we have in ourselves. Risk is a part of learning and growing.


Faith takes courage because of its highly speculative nature. Growing up in our material world where it is all about what we can verify by direct senses even though it is clear that we are spiritual life forms, makes it difficult to just let go and rely on a reality that we cannot verify directly. Even after our faith repeatedly performs as advertized we are reluctant to find the courage to risk the unknown territory of feeling confident in the idea that we can do something that we may not have done before. But most of this attitude is based on the ideas of success and failure and what those ideas may mean. These concepts have meaning only in a competitive reality, but are actually meaningless in themselves. Mistakes are an opportunity to learn and nothing more or less. Believing in ourselves and our abilities is a no brainer and a requirement for self confidence.

Armed with this kind of information and the knowledge that we have enormous personal power with which to implement any changes or modification we find necessary in our lives, there is no excuse for not reconfiguring ourselves if we find that we are the victims of low self esteem and a lack of self confidence. We can change the thinking patterns that were established early in our lives and change the quality of our lives profoundly.

See how self hypnosis can help you gain self confidence here.

Robert Darby is a self change and personal development specialist who writes for many organizations including The Agenda Of Life Foundation He focuses on developing personal power since that is usually the cause of all Human problems. Because he is fearless in his exploration of the true nature of reality, he has become one of the emerging writers of our time.


Tips That Build Your Self-Confidence in Meeting People

It’s hard to meet people. Even though they’re everywhere, shuffling about their daily routines, it seems a daunting task to work up the courage to walk up and introduce yourself, to “impose” yourself on their routine, with the prospects of an awkward and humiliating rejection looming over the whole affair. But never fear. Follow these four tips on building your self-confidence, and you’ll be meeting people in no time.

BANISH YOUR DOUBTS – Before your doubts banish you. The easiest way to fail in a social interaction is to let your doubts get the best of you, and to let yourself believe that you have no good qualities to offer the world. This obviously isn’t true. Believe in yourself and others will soon follow. Let your doubts take over, and soon everyone will believe those instead. See the pattern here? What you believe about yourself is what the world will believe about you, too.

MENTAL ROLE PLAY – Play out the initial meeting scene in your head beforehand. Consider this exercise like a practice run through. Visualize your success, visualize the person you wish to meet happy with your efforts, and engaging with you in conversation. Continue this until you muster the courage to actualize it in real life.

KILLING FEAR – Fear and doubt are the greatest enemies to building self-confidence. It is incredibly easy to talk yourself out of meeting new people because you are afraid of rejection, afraid of being ridiculed and humiliated, or simply afraid of being feeling that you are intruding upon someone else. You need to get past these fears, be determined and act with a positive outlook. Action by approaching is the simplest way to overcome fear meeting new people.

PRACTICE – Practice makes perfect. If you fail at a thing, it is far too easy to give up, to let the fear and the doubts win. With each new encounter you embark upon to meet people, you will learn what to say, what not to say, how sit, stand, or walk, and will get easier each and every time. Success is contagious, it breeds itself. One successful meeting will lead to you making more as you build your self-confidence. This is where perseverance comes into play. Keep going, keep striving for your goals of meeting new people. This is the path to self-confidence and pushing past your limitations.
Meeting new people takes effort, and building your self-confidence takes time, dedication, and positivity. You can become a confident person. It won’t happen overnight, but it will happen if you are willing to put in the time and dedicate yourself to the proposition that you are worth the investment in yourself.

Learn more tips to build self-confidence with people from and you’ll make friends wherever you go.



Building Self Esteem For Entrepreneur Success – Self Confidence to Succeed in Home Business

Building your self esteem, learning to become more self confident is a critical part of being a home business owner. Anyone can start a home business. It doesn’t take self esteem to actually START a home business. Often the Dream itself ~ the Desire to run your own business or Need to bring in money ~ is enough to sign up for a business opportunity. But it does take healthy self esteem and confidence in yourself to actually build a business that makes money!

Think about it!

Self esteem and confidence play a key role in all your business interactions whether sharing your product or services online or locally where you live.

The newsletters that you open in your mailbox, the ads that you respond to on your networks and websites that you go to most frequently ALL have something in common. They offer what you are looking for online AND exude self confidence. A business owner that conveys low self esteem, show a lack of confidence in their product or services will flounder, if not fail quickly.

Many “would be” entrepreneurs choose online business over the warm contact in their hometown market because the emotional safety of online marketing. Posting ads and being friendly on a variety of groups and forums does not carry the same emotional risk of stepping out the door to talk to strangers about your business. That doesn’t mean marketing online has a greater or lesser value because any marketing method, that brings your business branding, sales and a faithful, growing customer base, will bring you success. If your lack of confidence or low self-esteem is holding you back from success then make a commitment to yourself and your business. Learn to believe in yourself!


Building self-esteem at any stage in life is based on successes. Success does not come in just financial terms but more in the reaching of goals. With each goal set and reached, you will feel more competent and confident with the next set of goals put before you. Over time, a series of successes and accomplishments in areas of your life that matter to YOU will build your self confidence.

Building self esteem comes from within. As you stretch outside your comfort zone and start actively “selling” your business with confidence with positive results ~ your self-confidence will grow. With each positive experience of talking about your product or services, you will begin to convey that strong, confident business owner image of your dreams.

It sounds easy enough but in truth, life’s obstacles can often wear down your self image. Self-esteem and self-confidence are deeply connected to resilience. If life has handed you some major hard knocks that led you start your own business, building your self-esteem may sound the least of your worries. Your home business success DEPENDS on you being able to muster up the courage to take risks. Taking risks and failing isn’t anyone’s goal but believe it or not, there is a reward for failure ~ resilience!

Resilience is your ability to bounce back when bad things happen. Through out life, you will encounter trials and tribulations that test your ability to cope. When you are able to rise about your circumstances, you are learning how to be more resilient.

Resilience comes with taking control of your situation and making the changes that you can. Look for opportunities to take back control of areas of your life that have fallen into chaos. Again, with each positive step and each success (both big and small) you will learn that failure is an opportunity to grow. You will learn that you DO have the ability to regain and rebuild over and over again until you get it right!

All of these areas, self-esteem ~ confidence ~ resilience, will become part of your business. Marketing yourself will be easier. Your strong sense of self and pride in your products will shine because YOU shine!

The successful entrepreneur mindset is one of confidence and courage. Risk taking, whether it’s emotional or financial, will be less fearsome when you know you can handle what life hands you!

Tam Carson is owner of Article Marketing Profits blog helping other online marketers and home business owners that want to learn how to promote your business on the internet. Stop by and sign up for feed updates at Article Marketing Profits today to learn how to boost your income with article marketing!



Self-Confidence – A Timeless Way To Increase Your Self Esteem

Self-confidence is not the property of psychologists, and the subject is as old as we are as people. Even animals display a general sense of self-confidence by natural methods.

So should you.

In this article we will show you the way to become self-confident, in anything you attempt, by using the way of the ancients.


Self-confidence is only a way we perceive our own abilities and talents.

A change of perception can increase or decrease how we view ourselves, without the slightest regard to what are abilities and talents are.

The following story illustrates this principle:

A lion cub was once left alone and grew not among lions but with a flock of sheep who fostered him. He grew as the sheep did, eating grass and living in fear of most predators.

One day a lion came out of the forest and found the flock of sheep, and saw the lion cowering in a corner, shaking for fear.

The forest lion came over to the sheep lion and inquired of him, “what are you doing…cowering and shaking in fear?” The sheep lion replied he was afraid the forest lion would eat him.

The forest lion grabbed the sheep lion by the neck and dragged him to a nearby poor of water.

He forced the sheep lion to gaze into the reflection from the pool. “What do you see?” inquired the forest lion. “I see two lions here” . “Yes”, the forest lion said, “you are a lion like me.”

At once, with the perception that he as a lion, the sheep lion took courage and lost all his fear.

Understanding who and what he was, he became a lion, at once stopped being a sheep.

Discover Your True Nature

The way of teaching by all ancient people was to point out to the students their true nature.

You need not use tricks and develop psychological methods of feeling better about you. You have your own true nature, and this nature, whatever it is , is what you are.

You will have certain talents (all of us do), with natural abilities.

These are easy to recognize, as it is the things you understand and do easily.

All of these talents and abilities are on a sliding scale.

For example, if you count well, you may be especially talented in mathematics.

You might be an accountant or bookkeeper on one side of the scale, and a quantum physicist at the other. That is up to you.

Your self-confidence comes from simply knowing yourself.

Why should you feel bad about yourself if you are not good at sports. You will excel somewhere else. Find out about who and what you are, and then self-confidence comes of itself to you.

The Way of the Ancients

The ancients taught each student or each child from a family, to understand who and what we are.

This leads not only to self-confidence, but happiness.

Aspire to the best of who and what you are, and this leads to greatness.


On all aspects of SELF improvement and self esteem visit our website for a huge resource of articles, features and downloads and at



How To Gain Self-Confidence

The gaining of self-confidence and courage, and the ability to think calmly and clearly while talking to a group is not one-tenth as difficult as most people imagine. It is not a gift bestowed by providence on only a few rarely endowed individuals. It is like the ability to play golf. Anyone can develop his own latent capacity if he has sufficient desire to do so.

Is there any reason why you should not be able to think as well as in a perpendicular position before an audience as you can when sitting down? Surely you know there is not. In fact, you ought to think better when facing a group. There presence ought to stir you and lift you. A great many speakers will tell you that the presence of an audience is a stimulus an inspiration, that drives their brains to function more clearly, more keenly. At such times, thoughts, fact, ideas that they did not know they possessed come drifting in.

That ought to be your experience. It probably will be if you practice and persevere. Of this much, however, you may be absolutely sure; training and practice will wear away your audience fright and give you self-confidence and abiding courage.

Do not imagine that your case is unusually difficult. Even those who afterward became the most eloquent representative of their generation were, at the onset of their career afflicted by this blinding fear and self-consciousness.

There is a certain responsibility in making a talk, even if it is to only a dozen people – a certain strain, a certain shock, a certain excitement. The immortal Cicero said “Every public speaking of real merit was characterized by nervousness”.

Speakers often experience this same feeling even when they are talking over the radio. “Microphone fright”; it is called. Some people no matter how often they speak, always experience this self-consciousness just before they commence, but in a few seconds after they have got to their feet, it disappears.

At first you might be awkward and seems a real labour to adjust yourself. You might struggle for a time under a feeling of apparent diffidence and sensitiveness and these may add to your awkwardness, but this will be only for a short time.

In a few moments you will regain your composure and warmth and earnestness and your real speech will begin. All it takes is practice.

Think of the benefits it will bring you. Therefore arouse your enthusiasms for this self-study. Enumerate its benefits. Think of what additional self-confidence and ability to speak more convincingly in public will mean to you. Think of what it may mean and what it ought to mean in dollars and cents.

Think of what it may mean to you socially; of friends it will bring; of leadership it will give you, of the increase of your personal influence. And it will give your leadership more rapidly than almost any other activity you can think of or imagine.

“There is no other accomplishment” which any man can have that will so quickly make for him a career and secure recognition as the ability to speak acceptability. It is an attainment that almost every person of education longs for.

In every effort some men grow faint-hearted and fall by the way side; so you should keep thinking of what this skill will mean to you until your desire is white hot. In order to get the most out of your efforts to become a good speaker in public and to get it with rapidity and dispatch, four things are essential.

First: Start with a strong and persistence desire. This is of far more importance than you probably realize.

Second: Know thoroughly what you are going to talk about. Unless a person has thought out and planned his talk and knows what he is going to say, he cannot feel very comfortable when he face his auditors.

Third: Act Confident: All famous psychologist agree that action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling which is not. So to feel brave, act as we were brave, use all of your will to that end, and a courage will very likely replace the fit of fear.

Fourth: Practice! Practice! Practice

If you forget everything you have read so far, do remember this; the first way, the last way, the never failing way to develop self-confidence in speaking is to speak.

Irabor Mark is a chief science technologist with th College of Medicine, University of Ibadan. If you like this article, there are even better once Here: No. 1 Job and Recruitment Portal and Employment Agency Nationwide


How Do You Build Self Confidence?

It is easier to build self-confidence if you had it once, but somehow lost it. For those of us who never had it or if what we had was low, the challenge will be tougher. Regardless of your situation, you can get it by focusing on these areas.

1. Start liking yourself. One of the biggest things that affect your self-confidence is how much you like yourself. If you cannot accept who you are, it is time to put things into perspective.

We all have something that we do not like about ourselves. It can be anything from the size of our nose to the way we think to the way we succeed. Review who you are and look for all the things that you do like about yourself. Focus on these instead of on the things that you do not like. As you focus on the positives, the negatives will become less important.

2. Get comfortable with yourself. This requires that you begin to accept who you are with all your negatives and positives. Consider them to be the things that make you unique.

Imagine if everyone were perfect. The world would be a horrible place. Life is not perfect and it is important to accept that fact, even in relation to yourself. Rather than wishing you could eliminate the negative in you, accept them and put them in their rightful place. It is who you are, and there is little you can do about it. The sooner you can do that, the quicker you will feel comfortable within yourself.

3. Know your strengths and weaknesses. Put more attention on developing your strengths instead of worrying about the weaknesses. Realize that who you are is a direct result of your strengths and weaknesses.

Know what makes you happy and use it to your advantage. You can achieve many things when you do. You will probably surprise yourself at what you can accomplish and how well you can succeed in all areas of your life once you know what makes you happy. Do not allow the things that displease you stand in your way.

4. Stretch beyond your comfort zone. Too often, we tend to stay where we feel the most comfortable. Many of us are reluctant to go beyond it, especially if we lack self-confidence. We will not push the boundaries.

Having the courage to extend yourself will have a drastic impact on how you live your life. You’ll be amazed at how much better you will feel about yourself when you learn new things and accomplish goals that you never thought possible. The key is to reject failure as an option. Remember that even if you do not reach the goal that you had intended, you still succeeded in achieving several mini goals in the process.

Spend time on these 4 areas and you will soon see that you can in fact build self-confidence, regardless of where you were in the beginning.

Here are some highly effective proven programs to assist you in becoming the person you want to be: Beat low self esteem and build self confidence. Low self confidence is a major cause of anxiety. Get anxiety relief tips here.


2 Tips to Elevate Your Self Confidence

“Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent”. Eleanor Roosevelt

Quite a lot of confident and dynamic people that you hear about in the media or in magazines and books have long-learned to feel courageous and confident. In fact, most of them weren’t necessarily born with self confidence being one of their great qualities.

More than likely, a number of them had to learn how to feel and act with self confidence.

While they were practising to master their self confidence, they focused solely on becoming just that; confident. They purposefully paid no attention to the unbecoming comments of others.

They did not consent to others’ comments or remarks. They did not allow them to take control of how they are to feel.

These confident people did not show signs of willingness for the others to make them feel less of themselves. They felt in control, and they closed out any unhelpful commentaries.

Now, in much the same way that they have managed to do it, you, too, can develop and build on your own self confidence.

You also should make it a point to avoid any unsavoury comments while working on your self confidence. Keep away from certain destructive gatherings, pass up chit-chats of putting other people down, and dodge any other situations and events that you feel have a tendency of making you feel under confident – even the slightest bit.

Even though nobody can make you feel inferior unless you allow them to, you can make it easier on yourself by avoiding certain crowds and hanging around with those who are optimistic and encouraging.

As you progress in your learnings to gain more self confidence, here are 2 tips that you can take with you wherever you go:

1. Learn from people: listen to what confident people have to say and learn from them. You will find that there is something that you can gain knowledge of, something that you will realise or discover. Even if it’s one thing, that one thing is worth it.

2. A step further to the above tip is for you to intentionally study the people that you admire, that you respect, who you enjoy being like.

Pick one person and make a list of all the characteristics that you love about that person and all the attributes you don’t like.

By writing those that you do want as well as those that you do not want, your unconscious mind will learn to focus on attaining the characteristic traits that you do want, and stay clear of those that you do not want.

As often as possible, sit back and close your eyes, see that person, your role model in front of you sharing with you the qualities that you want. Allow yourself to be open to receive them.

Take in all that you want; all his self confidence, his courage, his knowledge and skills, and more. Spend a few minutes soaking in all the attributes that you want and allow the qualities to integrate within you.

Once done, say thank you to that person, open your eyes and continue with your day. Feel the difference!

Learn from the confident people, allow yourself to openly receive the characteristics of the person you admire and respect, and do not allow the under-confident people to make you feel inferior in any way.

Enjoy the benefits.

By the way, do you want to learn more about how you can build your self-esteem to become more motivated to achieve more in your life? If you do, I suggest you check this out: Self-Esteem

When you boost your motivation a few degrees, you can literally turn your life around. To find out How to Boost Your Motivation and Build Self Confidence, visit:


Gaining Self Confidence – Why is it So Hard and What Can You Do About It

There are numerous self confidence tips that can help you immediately boost confidence. However, for a deeper self confidence that resides within the core of your being, a different approach is required. First understand the misconception of gaining self confidence. Then, use your experiences to gain confidence and finally properly define your fear because when you have clarity on what you are facing, you will have confidence in taking it on.

The misconception about gaining self confidence

I know a lot of people who are seeking to develop self confidence, and I know that most of them will fail to achieve it. Yep, that’s right. It does not matter what book they read, who they learned it from, what methods they used or even what their current level of ability is.

They think that by doing all that, they will one day gain that unstoppable confidence that will give them courage to take on life like never before. They view confidence like it is an object that they can get a hold of. It’s either you have it or not. And once you have it, you will be transformed into a different person.

Well, usually sooner or later most of these people will start to give up because no matter how much they try, they seemingly cannot reach that place of supreme confidence. Well it’s no wonder. It’s because it doesn’t exist!

People believe that successful individuals are naturally confident and do not have any doubts. That is not true. No matter how smart, successful, talented or capable someone is, no one is absolutely free of doubt. There is the possibility success and failure in every situation. Michael Jordan has doubts, so does Einstein, Leonardo Da Vinci and everyone else.

However, these individuals have something that sets them apart from others. The difference is that these individuals are aware that the state of absolute confidence cannot be achieved. So unlike many others, they don’t wait until they are confident enough, they don’t wait until they have no doubts. Rather they take action in spite of the doubt. They prepare as much as they can, then take action. They don’t try to dispel all doubts & be 100% confident before making a decision or taking a course of action.

If you want to be 100% confident before you even attempt something, you can bet that you won’t be attempting many things. Preparation can only do so much for your confidence, after you have prepared as much as you can – Just Do It!

Self confidence or lack of self confidence is gained from experience

Self confidence is gained from experience. A past success or achievement gives us confidence that we can achieve it again or do something similar. Whenever we attempt to do something, our brain automatically analyzes the probability of success. It looks for signs and indications that support either success or failure. This is where we get our confidence.

Nothing gives a stronger indication than a past experience of success. With that, it is proof that something can be achieved because it has happened before. So why shouldn’t it happen again.

Subsequently this becomes a cycle – the more success you experience, the more confident you become. This added confidence drives you to further success and so on. This is why confident people become more and more confident, and more and more successful.

So while gaining self confidence comes from past experience, unfortunately so do low self confidence. Just as the experience of success can help us in gaining self confidence, past experiences of failure will pull our confidence level down. So in the end, what matters is just not having experience, but rather the quality of the experience. Or to be more accurate, the interpretation of the experience. We can’t control what happens, but we can control our interpretation of what happened.

Do successful people face setbacks? Do they have tough times? Of course they do. Though they experience setbacks, they never ever view those as failures. To them, those experiences are valuable lessons, gave them a chance to perfect their skills, gain knowledge and ultimately brought them closer to reaching their goal. By having an interpretation such as this, every single experience they have will be looked at positively and will contribute to gaining self confidence.

So rather than let past experiences of failures drive down your confidence level, interpret all your experiences in an empowering way so you will be gaining confidence from it no matter what the experience is.

It is not that hard to do. Don’t ever think that you are lying or kidding yourself. Remember, every situation has both sides of the coin – positive & negative. Every crisis has an opportunity, every loss has a gain. In other words, by interpreting your experience positively, you are not denying yourself the truth, you are just focusing more on the positive than the negative.

Practice daily to respond to any situation in this way. Make it a habit to immediately ask yourself ‘What can I learn from this?’ or ‘What’s so great about this situation?’ whenever you face tough times.

Gaining confidence in any situation: Clarifying your fears

Often times we don’t clarify our fears and keep it very vague. This is a mistake as it gives the impression that the situation is unknown, and that decreases our confidence of being able to handle it.

By identifying the details, we can clearly see what we are dealing with, and that gives us more confidence in facing it. In addition, often times doing this will make us realize that the situation is actually much better than we initially thought. It is the vagueness that made it seem more difficult than it actually is.

Conclusion: The Best Cure for Gaining Self Confidence

So what’s the best way for gaining self confidence? Just face every situation head on. The more you do, the more experience you have, the more you can call upon that experience to give you confidence. The ideas and methods above will help you with exactly that. This will create a cycle that builds more and more confidence.

So there you go. Use the ideas here to help build more self confidence everyday. Remember, true confidence comes from doing, not from preparing.

Copyright (c) Ethan Beh

Ethan Beh is a business consultant and self improvement enthusiast who spent the good portion of the last decade finding, learning and practicing the best self improvement techniques available.

Visit his site for more information on self confidence tips


How Do You Stop Being Shy? Self Confidence Over Shyness

How do you stop being shy and live with self-confidence instead of shyness? This is a crucial question because confidence enhances performance in every aspect of life. Whether we are trying to prevail in an athletic competition, make a good impression on a job interview, close a business deal, or approach that special someone from across a crowded room, the outcome of every endeavor in life is greatly influenced by the level of confidence we bring to the effort.

This may not seem like a surprising statement to anyone who shares at least the general sentiment that self-confidence can be very empowering. Despite this nearly universal impression, the intangible quality of confidence can seem very elusive to those who struggle with the fears, doubts, and insecurities usually associated with shyness. What is confidence, and how can we get more of it, in order to prevent our lives from being limited or even governed by our fears?

At the core of the issue, confidence is an inner knowing. It is a sense of certainty in ourselves and in a positive outcome of our efforts. Some people naturally exude confidence, and seem to glide effortlessly through the challenges of life. Those of us who are haunted by insecurities, doubts, and fears need to consciously work to develop the confidence that is necessary for an effective and satisfying life.

Some mentors and self-help gurus teach that confidence can be developed by using affirmations and visualizations to reprogram our minds. For example, one mentor told me that a mind that is full of insecure or other negative thoughts is like a jar full of muddy water. If that jar is placed in a sink and fresh, clean water is allowed to flow into it, the muddy water will gradually be forced out until all of the dirty water has been replaced by the clean water.

Similarly, a person whose mind is dominated by insecurities and fears can gradually reprogram the mind over time using positive statements and imagery. This approach is more effective if the positive affirmations and visualizations are combined with the excited emotions that come from a sincere belief in the reality of the positive statements.

This approach can produce dramatic improvements, but its effectiveness is often limited when a person with deeply rooted negative beliefs consciously rejects the positive affirmations and sabotages the reprogramming process.

If the recitation of wishful affirmations is not effective in reprogramming the mind, confidence can also be developed using an approach that is rooted in real life successes. By attentively identifying and celebrating every minor success or accomplishment, we use an approach that is anchored in reality and gives us a foundation for even greater successes in the future.

For example, suppose you are trying to gain confidence dating the opposite sex. Even if you are not successful in getting a date in one specific encounter, having the courage to approach someone rather than timidly allowing an opportunity to pass by can be considered an accomplishment. Identifying and focusing on each accomplishment, even minor ones, can provide a series of steps that will form a pattern of growth and development over time.

Building confidence is a process, and it will be opposed by the anxiety associated with your memories of past failures, embarrassments, disappointments, and setbacks. Growing in confidence will necessarily mean confronting and neutralizing the painful memories of these past failures.

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3 Tips on Building Self Confidence

How does one build self confidence is a question that most of us keep asking ourselves. The answers are not too hard to find which is why it is time for you to stop being short on confidence and instead you should learn to make use of the best tips on building self confidence.

Hold Your Head Up

Self confidence is all about holding your head up and looking the world straight in the face. It is also about being courageous and learning to be master of one’s own destiny. Fortunately, there are more than a handful of useful tips on building self confidence available to help you build your self confidence. Let’s take a look at a few of them. First of all, it is necessary to set yourself a target and then you must strive to do everything in your power to achieve that target. You have to be willing to bear costs of building your confidence such as distastefulness of the task and tedium involved. Accomplishing your targets is the best way of increasing confidence in yourself.

Take Action

Remember also that inaction is only going to breed fears and doubts. Action will help you breed courage and confidence and instead of pondering upon how to achieve targets, simply set out to complete whatever task you have to do. Action is the key to building confidence in yourself and even if this is not easy you must make an effort to take action.


Fear is another major stumbling block and is something that is going to cut your self confidence down. Therefore, you need to follow those tips on building self confidence that deal with facing up to your fears. In other words, you have to learn to do the very things that make you afraid. By doing this, you will succeed in gaining courage and strength as well as confidence.

You can face up to your fears in simple but effective ways. You could, for example, begin by being curious. Instead of dealing with fears by building barriers you should be curious about what makes you afraid and then you should take steps to overcome your fears. Remember also that fear is mostly based on wrong interpretations. So, do not take all of your thoughts too seriously because these thoughts could be wrong and misleading.

Among other things, it will also pay for you to follow simple yet effective tips on building self confidence which include learning to understand that events always happen in a certain order. To build your confidence, it is therefore important that you learn about the order in which things happen. There are other useful tips on building self confidence that you should learn about. One such tip is that of learning to be well prepared for events and tasks. If you are not sure about what you are to do, your mind is going to be filled with doubts and fears. On the other hand, knowing what has to be done will build up your self confidence and help you accomplish your task in a more desirable manner.

Now you know why high self confidence is beneficial, it is time to learn how you can become confident now []!