What Improving Your Self-Confidence Can Do For You

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Have you ever noticed that your life is going through a continuous stage or life altering decisions? If I go down this road, I could have had this life. But with that life came these different responsibilities. Let’s start with the confidence that was exuded as an infant. How you commanded an audience where ever you went. Your presence was heard and known throughout each room that you entered. Why, because you cried and yelled and belted only the notes that could come from a baby. Now as you became a toddler, here comes another milestone, the ability to walk and talk. It takes that will and belief in self to be brave enough to constantly try something over and over and over again, without any remorse or fear knowing that outcome. But a toddler that knows that if they keep getting up and keep striving to take that first step, than second step, than third step, braving then inevitable pain or embarrassment of falling on their bottoms. But you persevered, why because you believed in yourself. When we became teenagers, we tackled yet another stage of the ever so changing force that we call LIFE. We are confronting that moment in life that most adults try to skip because they know how reckless it was when the first did it. You are 16 and you decided that on this day at this time in this moment you want to learn to drive. Now I will not speak on the trials and errors that come along with this daunting task. But the perils that both the teenager and adult go through each time they embark on this journey is quite the achievement. But through it all, you will not pursue this challenge if you did not believe in yourself.

I can continue to go through the life changes over each stage or challenges from child to adult to elder, but that is for another story, so I will just continue to speak on what I am trying to point out in this message and that is BELIEVING IN YOURSELF. When you have self-confidence there is nothing that you can not achieve. When people throughout history believed in themselves and were not so reciprocating the belief. Major achievements were the result and sparked something so extraordinary, that when we speak of people being the first or an invention that is used, the names of our forefathers are mentioned. Could you have the courage to approach someone and say, “I have an idea that will change the way we talk to people long distance, short distance, across the street, around the world.” Well because Alexander Graham Bell did we have the telephone. The courage it took him and the self-confidence that he embodied made him and everyone around him have a different found respect and technology because he was not afraid to stand up and step up and show his belief. Could you say, “I don’t like the way people are being treated just because of the color of their skin. I want to do something about that. I know that there would be a lot of hatred that I will experience and it will result in thousands and hundreds of thousands of people getting hurt or killed because of this sacrifice, but it has to be done.” Well Dr. Martin Luther King, spoke up and out on something that he believed in, knowing fully well what the outcome was. The values and belief in self that was instilled in him bridge out to others and encouraged them to believe in what they can do. He was triumphant in part of what he set out to do, and that was to make people take a good look at themselves, and consider their actions. When he spoke you listened and took head of the effect that resulted. You have people in your office and school, church and neighborhood that are interacting in a system now, that is constantly displaying their beliefs. How can you believe in what someone else is doing but you cannot fathom the reality of believing in yourself first?

Self confidence is not something that everyone knows how to express naturally, but it is embedded in us. When your confidence is looked on, it does something to your aura. You can have confidence and continue to be humbled in who you are. You display a confidence and pride in your well-being that will illuminate and irradiate your every step in life and love. The inherent ability to know that you are in control of your life choices and even in regret you are passionate about who you are. A belief in yourself builds an uncompromising, intrinsic view that no one should be able to take from you. Believing in an idea and acting upon that idea displays the courage and fortitude to succeed when others have counted you out.


Parenting a Discouraged Child – Overcoming Self-Doubt and Promoting Self-Confidence

“One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.” – Arthur Ashe

Lots of kids have a hard time committing themselves to expend the effort to learn what their teachers want them to learn. We adults might say to them, “Just do it!”…but the directive is unlikely to get the desired result. Instead, a frustrated student often holds the pencil, looks at the paper, stares at the textbooks and hopes for any interruption.

You might ask “Why?” Why don’t kids do what we did? Some of us were good students because we believed we were supposed to be good students. If our family expected us to be good students, many of us inherited the belief that we could be. For some of us, our commitment to success in school was to prove our family belief wrong. Even if no one in our family had ever graduated from high school or college, some of us took on the challenge and said, “I will!” But some of us became embittered about school and education because we believed we couldn’t succeed no matter what. And unfortunately, even when this notion is not spoken or broadcast within a family, kids sometimes inherit their parents’ belief.

Self-confidence is a crucial component of achieving success in school. When children are confident, they can learn new ideas and facts because their minds are open and available. Their minds are not busy or distracted with memories of failure, criticisms of their abilities or messages of self-doubt. Internal chattered messages of “I can’t” crowd out any possibility of “Maybe I can!” When a child believes he/she cannot learn, when she believes she isn’t smart enough or when he believes the challenge is too great for him, learning is impossible…the internal chorus is too loud and distracting.

Repairing self-confidence is difficult–but not impossible. However, most kids are unable to do it on their own. The adults in a discouraged child’s world become the only forces strong enough overcome the child’s perception of self-doubt. Children are at the mercy (or blessed by) the behaviors of the adults they respect and look-up to. So, they either unconsciously absorb the negative perceptions or the positive ones.

Overcoming Self-Doubt

A discouraged child is likely to believe that a task is impossible–for him. He can see that others can do it and yet he is unable to successfully accomplish the expected goal. It is valuable to see how it is possible to create a self-doubting child so that we can devise an opposite tactic to create a confident child.

Little children listen to what we say. And, because we’re bigger and seem to be knowledgeable, kids believe us (at least when they are little). With this huge power to sculpt a child’s beliefs, adults may inadvertently undermine a child’s confidence–actually teaching self-doubt. When we narrow a child’s endeavors (i.e. “You aren’t big enough to carry the milk to the table”), we potentially contribute to a developing self-image that doubts his/her own physical ability. When we ask disparaging questions (i.e. “Why can’t you be smart like your sister?”), we add strength to a child’s belief that the observed comparison is valid and that she is “not smart” (translated to ” not capable”). Or when we complain about our children’s faults to others (i.e. “He is so lazy and he never cleans up after himself”), they often internalize the criticism as a statement of fact about him as a person.

Most of us parents have been very careful to avoid blatant messages of failure or discouragement. But the process of development (from infantile incompetence to adult competence), is fraught with opportunities for success and failure from the child’s perspective. Kids know when they’ve “blown it”. And, often we’re not around to reverse the child’s sense of failure or lack of skill.

Therefore, it is our job as parents (and grandparents and teachers and caring adults) to encourage our children whenever we can. Now, it doesn’t work to offer undeserved praise–that will only instill a distrust of you and your opinion. For example: When a kid spills the milk, you wouldn’t say, “Great job”. And if he brings home a spelling test on which she scored two (2) correct answers out of ten (10), your child would be very suspicious if you said “well, two correct is better than one”. Kids are smart, they can see through fabricated manipulation and they’ll distrust your future evaluations.

Promoting Courage and Self-Confidence

Instead of talking about evaluations (who did what, how it turned out, and how a child’s performance compared to others) a conversation about positive behaviors and abilities is more likely to reverse the downward drag of self-doubt and redirect toward a new process of ascending self-confidence. Look for small successes and brag on them.

“Honesty” is everything and “Tact” is a close second.

1) When your child sets the table, point out when the forks and spoons are in the right position. Congratulate your child’s correct behavior, admire his/her ability to do it right (where it truly IS correct) and ask him to check and compare the other settings so he/she can make corrections if necessary. When the table is set properly, comment about how you feel about things being in their proper place and your child’s ability to make it so.

2) When your child brings home a less-than-stellar report card, look first at what IS stellar. Congratulate your child’s positive performance, admire his ability to do it right (where it truly IS correct) and ask him what the difference is between the subjects he does well in and what subjects are more difficult. Include your child in the discussion (to evidence your opinion that his ideas ARE valuable and you want him to keep coming up with new ideas). Then ask him how you can help. Putting your child in charge of the challenge, honoring his opinions and ideas and offering your support tell him many things:

1) You trust that he CAN think it through,

2) You believe that his ideas are valuable and

3) That you’re willing to do what you need to in order to support his success.

Your confidence in his thoughts and abilities reinforces his budding courage to explore issues and bolsters his self-confidence.

3) When your child is bullied by another child, empathize with her feelings first. This validates her belief that you care about her and her feelings. Then, ask her about the incident factually (who did what, what happened next and how did it end). Ask her how she wished it had gone and what she might have done to prevent it. Brainstorm options (hers first and then yours) that might prevent future incidents. Encourage her to suggest ideas about how you can help her before you offer your solutions. By making her the leader of the conversation, you’re honoring her opinions and ideas. In contrast a child who believes that her ideas are dumb, won’t be willing to explore the possibilities.

Per Arthur Ashe’s quote: preparation is an important component to achieving Self-Confidence. Courage must be nurtured in children for them to develop the self-confidence they will need to tackle the challenges of childhood and to become self-assured and productive adults. Our job as parents is to notice the little opportunities and point them out to our developing children…every time we can. This creates a mental environment of “CAN DO” and provides a safe relationship that supports the courage to try!

Parenting isn’t easy…it’s a 24-7 job even when the kids are out of site they aren’t out of mind. And, the wise parent knows when the goin’ gets rough, go ‘n’ get more information. You’ll find a great resource at [http://www.EncourageBetterBehaviors.com]


Hypnosis, Self-Confidence, and the Bridge Hypnosis Builds

I remember as an apprentice aircraft instrument maker, over fifty years ago now, I was approached by the foreman of the shop, we’ll call him Smith. That wasn’t his real name, but he told me he wanted a universal stand built for some aircraft spotting binoculars, whopping great things, 80 x 800 strength.

This was eight o’clock in the morning. He told me it was vital that they were to be absolutely rigid in any position. So, being universal meant the operator had to be able to raise and lower them, rotate them and tilt them. They were very important, time was of the essence and the brass would be coming to collect them at five o’clock that afternoon. Design the stand and make it – and it had better be ready!

I was terrified, but there was only one thing to do. Start! To cut a long story short, I managed to make it by about four o’clock. Smith comes along, sets the binoculars on the stand, and virtually does a handstand on them in three positions.

“It moves. It still moves,” he screeched.

He was a big man, and I told him that even tool steel moves if treated in that way. He was having a nervous breakdown when the powers that be turned up. He showed them what I’d made, did his handstand act and apologized for the fact that the stand moved.

“Smith, you’re an idiot. It’s streets ahead of the one we have at the moment.” He turned to me and slung an arm round my shoulders. “Well done, young man. First rate job,” and off they went, highly delighted.

The whole point of this story is that my self-confidence shot through the roof. This was way before I’d even heard of hypnosis.

Nowadays, though, hypnosis is slowly coming into the mainstream and can be of tremendous help with so many problems, not least self-confidence. There are times when you feel decidedly apprehensive about performing a task, but you know you must.

You summon the courage to undertake it the first time, you’re successful, and from that point onwards, your fear runs away, defeated.

However, I know only too well that on occasion you’re faced with something that really scares the living lights out of you. You decide you simply can’t even begin to start to do whatever it is. Here’s where hypnosis can build a bridge over that gorge of terror and help you achieve your goal.

First, you think; ‘Is it really so terrifying?” Yes, you decide, it is. So focus. Sit in a quiet room and focus in on this awful task you have to perform. Imagine yourself undertaking it, working through it and completing it with signal success. Assuming you don’t have to perform this task immediately, repeat this exercise over and over until the outcome seems a foregone conclusion.

Now you’ve built your bridge. All you have to do is walk across it

Mike Bond, explaining a way to increase your self-confidence. He speaks of self-hypnosis. Remember, you can pick up an excellent FREE course about Self Hypnosis on his Website, The Hypnosis Attraction. All you have to do is click on The Hypnosis Attraction to be taken straight to the page you want


Boost Your Child’s Self Confidence With Martial Arts

Taking martial arts is tough. It will test your mental and physical toughness. It will push you to the limit and really see what you are made of. For your child, this will help boost their confidence. Many kids today suffer from low self esteem and a lack of self confidence. This happens for many reasons, maybe because their parents got divorced or maybe because they are overweight and are battling obesity.

Whatever the reason, self confidence and self esteem are very important. When you don’t feel good about yourself, you make bad decisions.

Martial arts sort of takes you through a journey that helps you find yourself and discover who you really are. Children need that. As they master each level, their confidence and self worth will grow. They will get that feeling of accomplishment. They will start to feel like they can do anything.

The courage that they will develop will be unbelievable. These are all important when it comes to quality of life. You need courage and you need confidence in yourself to make it in life. Martial arts will give that to your child and much more. It will also help your child lose weight. I am sure you are very aware of just how real child obesity is in the world. We have to fight back and keep are kids healthy and strong.

Enrolling your child in a martial arts class will help them build strength, stamina and endurance. It will change their body and make them feel much better about themselves. They will become more disciplined. If you have every had behavior problems with your child, you will start to see those behaviors change as a result. Training goes beyond self defense, it can literally change a persons life.

Read more on Things you should look for when picking a martial arts school for your child.

To find a martial arts school in your area visit www.dojo-reviews.com
Jose Garcia


The Building Blocks of Self Confidence

In order to do well in life all of us need self-confidence. This is what gives of the courage to take on difficult situations, but those that lack self-confidence will often crumble in the midst of challenges. Of course, the question is, how do you get this self-confidence? You can achieve self-confidence by defining your priorities and tasks correctly. The next step is asking yourself how you will achieve the tasks at hand. One strategy that works is breaking down your goals into smaller takes, which makes them seem less overwhelming. Every time you achieve a milestone in your goal, take the time to pat yourself on the back. This will increase your confidence level and it makes it easier to continue achieving your goals.

Also, you need to look at what image you hold for yourself. If you do not have a good self-image and continually putting yourself down, your chances of succeeding lessen significantly. What you believe to be true about yourself can often leave you hurt if you tend to blame yourself for the various setbacks you experience in life such as a failing business, failed marriage, or losing your job. Therefore, do not beat yourself, avoid this at all costs because it will feed negative thoughts, which can quickly get out of hand. Write off all your failures and begin to plan for some new challenges. This is a very positive way to adopt a new approach, and it can build up your low self-confidence.

People that are closest to you have a role in your self-confidence. If you are around negative or critical people, it will rub off on you and affect your self-confidence. Your number one goal should be to find friends that have a positive outlook on life and distance yourself from the negative people. Just being around self-confidence people is a confidence booster for you.

How you react to events in your life also matters. You need to think of yourself as a unique individual that has his or her own gifts and place in this world. This leads to developing positive attitudes, values, and beliefs, which are qualities you need to succeed against any odds. There is, however, a danger of seeing the world this way. You could become too confident and then you are not listening to what anyone is saying. Keep this from happening. You need to listen to the criticism and be able to filter the points that will help you become a better person, and toss out the rest. By being able to take the good from criticism will ultimately make you a better person.

Always keep a close eye on your internal dialogue. You need to make sure you are keeping thoughts that you can take on any assignment. By keeping an eye on your internal dialogue, it drives away the negative beliefs and attitudes and adds more to your confidence level.

You need to constantly monitor the image you have of yourself. You cannot simply let it take care on its own because your self-confidence, success, and happiness all depend on your self-image. In addition, do not sell yourself short by underestimating your abilities and stop feelings of inferiority before they are allowed to creep in. Set your sights high and realize that you are capable of achieving anything you put your mind to. Write down on a piece of paper where you want to be in five years from now.

In addition, start a list of your strongest points, those things that you do well and the compliments you receive often. Also write down a few things that you think needs improving in yourself. Keep your mind set that you are a self-confident person and act as if you are, even if you are not “feeling” it. Push negative thoughts and beliefs from your mind and keep a distance from negative or destructive individuals. Taking the responsibility for your life and practicing these methods on a regular basis, will help improve your self-confidence and it will remain high.

Sign up for your free 7 day e-course ” Boost Your Self-Esteem ” to learn how to raise your self-esteem and be free of anxiety, stress and loneliness as your life becomes more rewarding and satisfying. Click here to grab your copy now. Don’t hesitate as this special e-course may not be available for long.

Thanks for reading,
Kevin Sinclair


Self-Confidence Hypnosis

In order to succeed in life, you need to have trust in your own abilities and talents. It is important that you respect yourself, otherwise you can’t expect others to respect you. Self-confidence hypnosis can help you to boost your confidence levels to a healthy level quickly and easily.

There are of course many other things that you can do to increase your self-confidence too. For example, using affirmations and visualizing yourself standing, walking, sitting, acting and talking more courageously will surely help you to turn this wish into a reality over time.

The problem with these kinds of methods is that they require a lot of discipline over a long period of time. It might take years for affirmations and visualization techniques to really give you results.

The same is true for methods like writing down all your achievements and successes and congratulating yourself on them. This too is a technique that works, but the question you should be asking yourself is: how much time and energy do I need to invest into this before I can expect to get the result I want?

Hypnosis is so powerful because you can utilize the power of your subconscious mind, rather than just your conscious mind. Experts agree that our conscious mind basically is just a small piece of the subconscious mind, which has a potential that is many times bigger than that. When you visualize or repeat affirmations, you basically use your conscious mind to try and influence your subconscious mind. However, hypnosis communicates directly to your subconscious mind, and it works so quickly and effectively because you use the power of your subconscious mind to influence your conscious mind.

For more information on self-confidence hypnosis visit http://hypnodepot.com/self-confidence-hypnosis


How Do You Build Self Confidence?

Building self confidence or improving self esteem is all about valuing ourselves as the persons we are not what we do. Our perception of what we are worth in our own eyes is based upon how we interpret our previous performance. In any situation we are facing, our confidence will be determined by how well we feel we’ve done in previous similar situations. I’ll say, how well we “feel” we’ve done, which implicates that we are using a certain standard to measure or compare against. This standard or values are different from person to person but very many of us require perfect performance of ourselves. If we don’t succeed according to our perfect standards, we end up devaluating ourselves.

What are these standards or values? Where do they come from? How and why have we adopted them and why do we so often question them? We are not born with values, which leads us to the conclusion that they must have been learned in one way or another. So let’s start with examining certain values of our


we value flawless or perfect performance

we love to win

These are great values on how we should do – every one of us should do as good as possible with whatever we are doing, there’s nothing wrong with that. But the mistake most of us are making is, we replace the worth of what we are doing with the person or individual we are – no matter how few or many mistakes we make in what we do. Why can’t we value ourselves in spite of making mistakes?

Self confidence is natural; Just remember when you were a kid -you were valued and appreciated and loved for being in this world and you had self esteem or confidence without even questioning it. It was natural. We didn’t have to do or perform anything to get the good feeling of being valued and loved by others. Somewhere in the timeline, through our adolescence or juvenile years, we got this delusion that we had to continually justify our place in the world by proving to other people that we are worthy of their confidence. And for some reason this proof became identical with “The Proof” that we were really valuable. This has really made us vulnerable – because our self esteem or confidence is anchored not within ourselves but somewhere outside ourselves, that we cannot control. The judgement of others determines how good we feel about ourselves. Isn’t that crazy?

So, what shall we do to build higher confidence in ourselves? Here are some tips:

Make a list of the things that you like about yourself. Look at this list when your self image is halting. It is important to remind yourself about the qualities you know you have.

Make a list of the things that you do well and to do one of these things on the list everyday. A simple but very effective self esteem builder for many.

Remind yourself again and again how crazy it is to put yourself in such a vulnerable position such as, letting other people – the man in the street, your boss, your next door neighbour or whoever it is – determine what you are worth.

Be kind to yourself and do something nice for yourself, something you like and find enjoyable. Treat yourself. Spoil yourself. Be your best friend!

Go to a trusted family member, a friend or your spouse and tell about your feelings of discouragement. Maybe the other can remind you about some valuable things about yourself that you for the moment have kept out of sight of.

Take a risk. Not taking a risk is the biggest risk you can ever take. Do something you’ve never done before. By accepting such a challenge, even if you don’t succeed, taking a step into a ‘new world’ is likely to increase your self confidence.

If the period of time you’re experiencing low self esteem lasts longer each time, no matter what you do, you should consider seeking professional help. Mental health professionals can be very helpful in building your self image. You can search on the internet, in the Phone book, classified newspaper ads etc.

Be aware that temporary fluctuations in your feelings of self confidence are quite normal. Life goes up and down for all of us. Don’t lose your courage but instead remind yourself that you are unique; there is no person like you in the entire universe, even if you are a twin, therefore you are incomparable. This is true and this is a great truth! Isn’t it?

Terje Brooks Ellingsen is a writer and internet publisher. He runs the website 1st-Self_Improvement.net. Terje is a Sociologist who enjoys contributing to the personal growth and happiness of others. He tries to accomplish this by writing about self improvement issues from his own experience and knowledge. For example, building self confidence and achieving perfect performance in careers.


Effective Way to Enhance Your Self Confidence

No matters what the circumstances you are in, you will need courage to advance your self both socially and in business. Asking for a salary raise, or to ask someone for a date will take courage. If you have a lack of self confidence in yourself, you will not be able to do the desired things to attain the results you want. Building self confidence is not a hard task. You need to believe in yourself and in your capabilities.

Try to force yourself to take action for the new challenges in your life. First choose a task in which you are interested in and try to perform it without being afraid. It is obvious that you cannot change yourself overnight, but you need to start somewhere. You need to work on certain areas to develop yourself and believe in your qualities.

First, construct a plan how you will achieve your target. Try to talk to yourself in privately about your desires and practice how to attain them. Even if you are asking for salary raise or go out on date, you need to prepare yourself first before going into the real situation. If you believe you have conquered all the deadlines in your job and completed every task correctly, then be confident in what you are asking for. Keep good eye contact, speak with a strong confident voice with a smile on the face. These are the natural attributes which will convince the other person as well.

Do not be afraid of others. They are also humans like you. The way you approach someone plays a vital role in a positive or negative response. Take some deep breathes and be confident that you can do it. Try to touch those areas in your life from which you are always afraid of doing, or you thought you do not have the capability of doing it correctly. You need to strengthen yourself in those areas by building your own self confidence. You may see it as an overwhelming task but be confident on your skills. It will automatically help you build more confidence in your abilities. Ralph Waldo Emerson said” A person is not what they think they are, but what they think they are”

Low esteem can result in disaster in your life no matter in what area; either it is personal or professional. If you are unable to stay happy with your life then it entirely depends on you to change it the way you want.

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Self Confidence, Fear and the Inevitable Procrastination

One of the major reasons why most people avoid the very tasks that can free them from mediocrity is their lack of self confidence. Mediocrity is nothing but failing to live up to your true potential. What you can do is absolutely incredible. What you will do is often disappointing. Most people have been conditioned to only do what they ‘can’ do or to only do what they have been told they ‘can’ do or what they’ve successfully done before.

A lack of confidence in yourself will automatically keep you from going for it because you lack that sense of certainty that comes from being confident. Self confidence is nothing but a gut level belief in yourself and in you capabilities – even if you haven’t done it before. Procrastination is not just a device for avoiding mundane tasks but on a much higher level it is avoiding the ‘big’ decisions and the ‘big’ actions that can make the real difference in your life.

This is a huge issue because the only way you can get your life to consistently move forward is to consistently take action. When you fail to move forward you fail to grow and without growth there is ‘death’. If not physically, then certainly emotionally and spiritually. To get from where you are to where you ultimately want to be you would have to do things that feel uncomfortable; things that are unfamiliar to you. Without a sense of certainty and confidence in yourself you will most probably never do it. Your doubt will keep you from even attempting it.

On the other hand, if you are filled with confidence, you are confident and certain in yourself and in your abilities to produce a specific result – regardless of past performance or whether you’ve done it before. Self confidence is what creates a sense of certainty within you. This sense of certainty is nothing but a feeling that is created by you. When you’ve done it before it is relatively easy to re-create the feeling and thus feel certain. It is not something that you have to confront afresh. As human beings we tend to avoid uncertainty and that which is unfamiliar. It is because of this that procrastination can steal your future for procrastination will keep you from taking the actions that will create the future you desire. Confident people are people who are action minded. They are people who know that action and confidence goes hand in hand as the one creates the other.

With a lack of confidence comes a certain level of fear. Confidence is not an absence of fear, but a presence of courage to face the fear and do it regardless. The doing; the action is what drives the fear away. Failure to take action, not only accommodates fear, but actually creates it and out of a fear of failure you will find a ‘good reason’ to not take action and procrastinate.

Taking action is the ultimate cure for a lack of confidence and a wavering sense of certainty can be anchored by using your personal power to take action. When you use your mind and your emotions to engage your nervous system into action, you quite literally drive uncertainty away for uncertainty and a lack of confidence s nothing but a ‘mental condition.’ Whether you think of yourself as confident or not; either way you will be right. Confidence starts and ends with the image you hold of yourself. It’s as simple as that. The image you have of yourself; your self-esteem, will reinforce or take away from your level of confidence. Right now you can decide to start focusing on a different image of yourself. Start to direct your thoughts towards how you want yourself to be, instead of what you fear you might become. As you do this you will start to feel confident. Remember that confidence is nothing but a feeling and as you dwell on these feelings the results will surely follow.

So many people today wake up in their midlife only to realize that they haven’t done anything they always wanted to do. They realized that they’ve spent 30 years procrastinating – putting off doing what they should have done. This is a major cause for depression and what is generally referred to as a ‘mid-life-crises’. The ‘cure’ however lies in eliminating procrastination and taking action and to act on your dreams and your desires. It is never too late to have a happy childhood. It is never too late to take action on your dreams and desires. It is your actions that will shape your life more than anything else. What you do and what you fail to do will be the creators of your life and you (and only you) have full control over that.

When you take responsibility for your life and realize that it’s all up to you, you empower yourself to make it the way you ‘see’ it. No one else is responsible. When you assume responsibility, you assume your ability to respond and to take action. The minute you do this you unlock a level of confidence within yourself that can empower you to take action. Confidence comes not from any physical proof, but from an inner knowing that you can. You create a sense of certainty by starting to doubt the doubts you had in yourself previously. Ultimately procrastination can not survive in the mind of a confident and action minded person.

This article is published with the permission of the author, Deon Du Plessis. He is the founder of The Self Improvement Gym, and author (in)action, a groundbreaking new action guide on eliminating procrastination. For more of his in-depth insights into personal development and access to his free self improvement library visit http://www.The Self Improvement – Gym.com


Self Confidence is Yours For the Taking

If you’re reading this, you possibly have a problem with self confidence. Has your shyness ever jinxed your prospects of deserved success and recognition? For instance, has your confidence crumbled just before making an important presentation that could have made all the difference in your career?

Or have you been struck dumb with stage fright just before delivering a speech that you had prepared hard for? If so, you are doubtlessly aware of how debilitating and destructive shyness can be.

Before you proceed, try to understand what true self confidence really is. It is certainly a lot more than mere bluster and flashiness. It is a deep-seated attitude fed by a positive belief about oneself and one’s ability to control matters that impact one’s life and plans. Put more simply, self confidence is the quality that allows you to acknowledge your ability to do something, and to take appropriate action when required.

The main factor that breeds self confidence in us is positive support in our endeavors during childhood. If your parents endorsed you sufficiently during your childhood years, you are apt to be self confident in adulthood.

By the same coin, if your parents were overly critical of you and failed to acknowledge your strengths, they will have dampened your overall confidence in yourself considerably. The keywords here are unconditional love and acceptance despite our imperfections.

However, this does not mean that lack of such support in our formative years dooms us to insecurity for the rest of our lives. It is possible to undo the damage of a negative self image brought forward from childhood, and to acquire high levels of self confidence in adulthood.

Remember that even though loving support by our parents in childhood is a vital cornerstone, true self confidence actually does not depend on others’ positive reinforcement. In fact, it stands firm even if one fails or is faced with a lot of criticism.

Of course, such confidence does not come from self-help manuals. To a large extent, it is experiential. If you know beyond any doubt that you have the capacity to do something, it is only because you have been successful in similar undertakings before.

In other words, the first step towards greater confidence in your self is to acquire the courage to try new things. This does not mean that you laugh at your fears and launch yourself headlong into a tricky boardroom negotiation, or onto a competitive sports field.

The journey can begin under far more controlled circumstances. Mark up small victories to begin with, and build your self confidence level by gradually taking on larger challenges. You will soon find a decided difference in how you see yourself. Whenever you find your self confidence flagging, recall these accomplishments and be inspired by them.

Arun Chitnis is a professional content and copywriter, proof-reader and editor. He wields his pen on a diverse range of topics, but his primary areas of interest are medical and lifestyle issues, family dynamics, parenting, natural health, home improvement, real estate, humor and fiction. Visit the site here for more self-help and personality development tips.


Cornerstones Of Self-Confidence

We all need self confidence in order to succeed in life. Without self confidence we will be unable to face life’s challenges with equanimity. With it we will be able to face them with courage.

The dilemma we are faced with, however, is how to gain self confidence when we lack it in the first place? The key to genuine self confidence is to experience success. This is not as difficult to do as you might think. Many people set themselves up to be discouraged by making it hard to succeed. You can make it easy to succeed by breaking down your larger goals into smaller ones that you can more easily achieve. Make sure that you enjoy each small achievement and your self confidence will increase.

Self image is another important concept of self confidence. If you have a poor self image, your self talk will probably be negative. If you are constantly criticizing yourself and you feel like you are never good enough, you are making it very difficult (if not impossible) to succeed. A low self image is often the by-product of the messages we received as children but it can also be the consequence of the devastating blows we can receive as adults such as divorce, job loss or business failure. We have to learn from our mistakes, however we don’t want to get stuck in a cycle of self blame as it can be a slippery slope to despair and depression. As motivational speaker and author Tony Robbins says: “The past does not equal the future.” Look forward, not backwards and begin to work towards a brighter future.

People also affect our self confidence both positively or negatively. The simple decision to spend time with friends and family members who are positive and supportive and to avoid spending much time with those who are negative will lead to increased self confidence.

The way we respond to feedback is another important factor which will influence our level of self confidence. While it is certainly true that we need to see ourselves as inherently worthy, we need to avoid over-confidence or arrogance. We are all unique individuals who have something special to offer the world. This understanding will help us to develop the sort of positive beliefs, values and thinking that will strengthen our self confidence so that we can move forward successfully in life. However, all criticism is the result of negativity. Some criticism is very valuable. Be willing to listen to criticism, pay attention to information you can use to improve as a person and throw away the rest. Your ability to respond maturely to feedback will help you become the best person you can be. Likewise, your ability to discern unwarranted criticism and disregard it will keep your self confidence intact.

The way you speak to yourself is also very important. Positive self talk will give you the confidence and belief in yourself to step up to the challenges and opportunities of life and undertake them with courage and excellence. Negative internal dialogue, on the other hand, will keep you from even trying. Be willing to monitor your thoughts and actively choose to think positively about yourself and your abilities.

Your self image is intimately tied to your destiny. Most people let their minds run amuck, unaware that their thoughts and feelings about themselves are actually writing the story of their lives. We have to guard against thoughts of failure and inadequacy. If we aim high and believe that we are capable of achieving our goals we will have set ourselves on the pathway to success. The power of a positive vision cannot be underestimated on this journey. Where do you want to be in five or ten years from now? Write down your vision and turn it into goals.

It is easy to get into the bad habit of thinking negatively. To overcome this habit you will need to make a concerted effort to focus on your positive traits. Keep a note of your strengths. What sort of compliments do people tend to give you? What would you like to improve about yourself? Take charge of these areas and make a plan. Taking action will automatically shore up your self confidence. If you make a habit of thinking and acting confidently (no matter how you feel) and limit your contact with people who criticize you or belittle your dreams, you will become a far more self confident and successful person.

By applying these strategies and taking responsibility for your life, you will find that you will become a naturally self confident person. Furthermore, it will be a genuine and deep self confidence that can stand firm under the storms of life.

Kevin Sinclair is the publisher and editor of My-Personal-Growth.com, a site that provides information and articles for self improvement and personal growth and development.


Entrepreneurial Self Confidence Vs Small Business Blind Optimism

Many business owners get into a business with little or no thought about getting out. Confidence in the future is essential. Misplaced confidence can create unnecessary challenges and stress. This column is one in a series that examines this component of “Entrepreneurial Insanity”.

It takes a certain amount of courage to open a business. The safety net of employment is gone and every decision directly impacts the success or failure of the enterprise.

That is why it is interesting to observe the source of the courage. People admire self-confidence. Such qualities are those of which leaders are made. But, can there be too much confidence in some people? When self confidence moves into the realm of blind optimism, the admiration tends to wane.

The true entrepreneur tends not to see the risks. Yet, there is no assumption that he is a fool either. Entrepreneurs manage risk. They do not blindly take risks.

The danger in blind optimism is that, of course, you could be wrong.

You see it every day. The corner location where “nothing goes” is the new home to a specialty grocery with a limited population from which to draw. In your head, you say, “I wonder how long… “.

Self confidence, on the other hand, is vital to the prospect of the business getting off the ground. Without the dream and the confidence that the dream can be achieved, no business ever gets started.

Blind optimism, is misplaced self confidence. It is confidence without foundation. So what is the difference? Information. The entrepreneur’s strategy for business formation boils down to this formula: OPTIMISM + INFORMATION = CONFIDENCE

Take optimism and add information to create confidence. To have confidence, however, you must have adequate information. That is where the whole topic of research comes in. There is a ton of information right at the fingertips of every business owner. Too often it is either ignored or misused. Properly gathered and analyzed, it can save business owners significant amounts of money.

As a magazine publisher, speaker, author and consultant, McManus has had the rare opportunity to see inside businesses resulting in the conclusion that many call themselves entrepreneurs, but few truly achieve the levels of freedom that the title should imply.

Roger McManus is author of Entrepreneurial Insanity: When Doing the Same Things Do Not Produce Different Results – It’s Time To Do Different Things! available from Ensanity Press for $14.95. https://www.createspace.com/3439545.

To see where like-minded, growth-oriented, soon-to-be-true-entrepreneurs meet and share, visit http://ensanity.biz (It’s not a typo, it’s a contraction: ENsanity for ENtrepreneurial Insanity)