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Gratitude. For everything.

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Is Courage the Same As Self-Confidence?

If an adolescent is self-confident, is she necessarily courageous?

Most of our choices require confidence and courage. It takes a lot of courage to choose to speak up and to let someone know how you feel, especially if that person has authority over you. It takes confidence, on the other hand, to try new things. It takes confidence and courage to put yourself first.

The good news is that most of you can work on pumping their confidence and courage. Here are a few tips on how to do just that:

1. Recognize your confidence and courage. Confidence is that “I can do it” feeling. Chances are, you’ve felt it at some point. Maybe it was right before a game. Or maybe it was just before a test that you studied for thoroughly. Courage, on the other hand, isn’t necessarily the absence of fear. Sometimes, courage is about being scared and going ahead with something anyway.

2. Start small. To build your confidence and courage, take small risks where you have a good chance of succeeding. You could do this, for instance, when you already know you can do two out of the three steps required. By accomplishing this first, you can gain more skills to go after a more challenging goal, like becoming a reading tutor. After you gain confidence by conquering small risks, you’ll feel ready to take bigger ones. Each new challenge can build your confidence even more.

3. Face your fears. Fear can be your gut’s way of warning you, though too many fears can hold you back from taking a risk or going after a dream. Are you afraid of failing? Are you afraid of looking silly? To overcome fears like these, think about their source. Often, fears come from being uncomfortable with the unknown or feeling out of control. But sometimes, the cause is that you don’t believe that you deserve success. Give yourself a boost by telling yourself that you can do it and are worth it.

4. Don’t worry about being imperfect. Lots of girls are on the ‘be-perfect treadmill.” They believe that they have to look and be perfect n order to be accepted and loved. However, this is far from the case. You don’t need to do everything right or be number one all the time. To build confidence, don’t try to be perfect and live on the edge a little. Practise taking risks where you’re sure to make some mistakes.

5. Find heroines. Having heroines comes in great when you’re building up your confidence and courage quotient. Your heroine or role model could be someone in your family, in your community, or in the public eye. She might even be someone from the past. Determine which qualities and values that you aspire to have that your heroine has and then try to develop them for yourself.

It is never easy to develop our courage and self-confidence. However, we have to develop both in order to act in a self-assertive fashion and to take the kinds of risks that will help us to excel in life.

Irene S. Roth is a freelance writer for teens and tweens. She is in the process of writing a few E-books for teens and tweens on the topic of confidence and self-assertion. She also has an adolescent blog at http://www.adolescentgirlsblog.wordpress.com.


Building Self Confidence and Assertiveness Techniques

If you think being confident is a piece of cake then you are obviously wrong. Just like other positive attitudes, self confidence is something you have to work hard for. It is not easy being so sure about yourself and be able to carry yourself well in front of other people too. Self confidence and assertiveness is something you have to work hard for.

For some, being self confident and assertive come naturally while there are those who have to struggle just to possess these qualities. If you are one of those who find it very challenging to build self confidence and assertiveness, then the following tips will help you out:

o Mingle with society

If you are someone who prefer being alone and consider yourself an outcast, then you must change that attitude. Feel more confident about yourself by mingling with other people. Don’t be shy to attend parties, attend conferences, watch concerts, and join in other social events that will expose you to different kinds of people.

o Be bold

Do not be contented with staying in your comfort zone. Being bold and daring can sometimes be rewarding especially when it comes to facing the challenges that come your way. Do not be afraid to face your fears. You must be bold enough to try something different for a change. Do not be a mere follower all the time; instead take responsibilities by being a leader every now and then.

o Think positive

You must look at the bright side of things especially when things grow wrong. One of the reasons why people fail to build their self confidence and assertiveness is because of the fact that they are easily discouraged once they make a mistake. They easily feel downhearted and think negatively of themselves that they no longer have the courage to stand up again each time they fall. If you want to be confident and assertive, you have to be optimistic. Apply the lessons you learned from your mistakes and do things right the second time around.

o Accept yourself

So what if you don’t look like a supermodel, a hot actor, or someone who always makes it in the papers? You have to accept who you are and what you have. Remember that no two individuals are exactly alike and you are unique from others. You have your own potentials which you have to develop and use for your own good. Once you accept yourself, it will be easier for you to have that confidence in your capabilities.

Being self confident and assertive is not so easy. It requires time and effort on your part to be the person you want to be. Just remember to follow the tips above and you will not get lost.

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Building Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem – A Different Approach

There is a little guy hiding inside our brain that watches and evaluate everything that we do. That little fellow is in charge of setting the mark that will determine our level of self-confidence and self-esteem. Sigmund Freud gave the little guy a name. He called him the Super-ego. That’s his real name, however we know him best under the appellation of Conscience.

It matters little whether we call him Super-ego or Conscience however what does matter is to understand the little guy’s function, how he works and how he can be influenced to intercede in our favor.

One of the problems that we find with that little guy is that he’s very much influenced by the Ego. And that was especially true when we were very young. If for some reason our Ego was bruised by some disparaging remarks, the little guy would take it way too seriously and lower our level of self-esteem and by the same token, our level of self-confidence.

In some cases, those negative remarks came from parents, teachers, friends and peers. Not necessary individuals who were qualified to give valid opinions on the subject of our true worth. However our little guy took those opinions to be the gospel truth and lowered our self-esteem.

So in order to build that self-esteem again, we need to have several talks with the little guy and make him understand that some of those degrading remarks were certainly not warranted and that he has to disregard them.

Early age self-assessment of our worth created a powerful belief regarding our identify and how we perceive ourselves. In cases where a negative self-image was created, the belief has to be changed. That can be accomplished by repeatedly using positive affirmations and by finding evidences that will disprove the original belief. The process might require intense and prolonged efforts but the results can be spectacular.

Every day that we live, our little guy keeps on assessing our performances. His main concern is the level of our commitment to be all that we can be. When we perform as well as we can, he will raise our self-esteem. When we don’t, self-esteem will suffer.

We cannot fool the little guy. He knows when we use excuses and pretexts to cover an unacceptable performance. And he also knows when we assume the victim role to please our ego. Failing to assume personal responsibility for whatever happens to us is seen as a cardinal sin that is simply not acceptable.

What the little guy inside our brain wants to see is for us to face life’s challenges with courage, give our best and be true to ourselves. He understands that there will be setbacks and that we will fail sometimes. In those instances we will not be penalized so long as we acted courageously, performed to the best of our ability and did not shy our responsibilities.

Self-esteem should depend almost exclusively on how we evaluate our performances and to a much lesser extent on the results that we achieve. That is something else that we should make sure that our little guy knows about. He’s the one who sets to tone for the level of our self-esteem but we’re the one who should set the rules.

One of the most precious possessions that we can ever hope to have is a strong and healthy self-esteem. With it we see life through an entire different set of lens. Getting to like and appreciate ourselves has been called the ultimate seduction. So called because when we have it, little else is needed to make us feel happy. Thus the importance to please the little guy that resides in our brain.

Dr. Raymond Comeau aka Shamou is the Author of ShamouBlog and Owner Administrator of Personal Development for Personal Success Forums


3 Strategies for Career Women Seeking to Boost Self-Confidence in the Workplace

As a career woman, your self-esteem and confidence can be your ticket to ride on the fact track to success, or your ticket to sit in the side car to nowhere. No matter how stellar your training, formal education, or tactical skills may be, if you don’t have high confidence in yourself, you will not instill it in others. And it takes winning the confidence of others to progress up the ladder of corporate and business success.

Here’s the good news! Self-confidence can be built in any area of your choosing. It may take some time, patience, practice and awareness, but people build confidence every day. Many times we don’t even realize we are doing it. Building confidence is like building muscle. You start out slowly, taking little steps, pushing yourself just a little further each time, until you arrive at your final destination of accomplishing a specific task with proficiency.

If you are lacking self-confidence on the job, the first thing you might want to consider is to write down where you do feel confident in the tasks you perform, and where you do not. Once you’ve identified the areas where you are lacking, ask yourself what it would take for you to feel confident in those areas, and write it down. Do you need more training? Do you need more practice? Is it really in your skill set? If you can look at what you need to do, then you can formulate a plan to start acquiring the skills, tasks, or practice that you believe you need.

In doing this exercise, it will become apparent to you that there are steps you can take. All is not lost and it is not something you have to endure, tolerate or be embarrassed by. This knowledge alone will help boost your self-esteem and your confidence. Because instead of feeling inept about yourself and your abilities, you will realize you can improve your performance once you have your new and different tools.

Now, break down how you will go about acquiring the new skills and tools you need. Break them down into baby steps so the bigger goal does not seem overwhelming. Then put a plan in place for accomplishing each step. Every time you take a step you are building your muscle of confidence.

While you are working on building long-term, enduring confidence in your abilities, here are just a few quick things you can do to change your mood, your mindset and your inner feelings of confidence.

3 Ways You Can Boost Self-Confidence and Get Ahead in the Workplace:

Give yourself a make-over. Or perk yourself up. This isn’t to impress anyone else, but to make yourself feel better and more upbeat. Studies show when you feel good about the way you look, it puts in a positive, confident light for others to see.
Give yourself extra time to prepare. If you are working on a project or a presentation, give yourself ample time to prepare, longer than you normally need. Knowing the material you are presenting or the details of a project on which you are working will immediately boost your self-esteem, confidence and knowledge. This will show in your conversations with your team and your supervisors.
Focus on your progress. Make a list of everything you have accomplished at work in the past 90-days…and the past year. Make notations next to each of the things you feel really proud of accomplishing. Note any positive comments or appreciations that were paid to you by your team or supervisors in regard to those accomplishments. Also note any activities where you felt you did not feel as adequate. Think about what you could do, learn or change next time to receive a better or more positive response. It’s good to have areas in which you need to improve! It allows you to continue to grow and excel.

Remember, confidence is your belief about the level at which you can perform a given task with ultimate capability. So start raising the bar for yourself…just a little at a time. Take a course that will help you become proficient at a new task relating to your professional position. Ask if someone in upper management can act as a professional mentor to you. Ask if you can be a professional mentor to someone who needs your skills. All of these actions will help you feel more capable, show off your abilities, and gain you new skills.

True life fulfillment begins by mastering self-esteem and confidence. You have the power to have the life, the career and dreams you desire.

For more tips on building ultimate esteem, confidence and courage, visit http://www.kathleenastonintl.com/ultimate-confidence.html.

Million-dollar entrepreneur and Life-Fulfillment Strategist, Kathleen Aston is an expert in creating confident, courageous, successful women by helping them learn to overcome limiting beliefs, fear, uncertainty and circumstance while implementing powerful tools for personal and professional success. For your complimentary 4-part video training series, Building Ultimate Confidence, Courage and Success, visit URL: http://www.kathleenastonintl.com/ultimate-confidence.html.


How to Achieve Self Confidence?

Self-confidence is a very essential ingredient for success in any field of life. Without such confidence we are afraid to take risks; we also do not have the courage to explore higher horizons while performing our deeds within this world.

Real self confidence is not based on our achievements or our successes in this world but it is based on the fulfillment of who we are, what our purpose is and what we represent to ourselves, our families and to the world around us.

If a person has such self confidence then he can generate confidence and faith in others. Actually, to fail is not much of a loss, to lose character & integrity is a major loss to our inner life.

A person with proper disposition and attitude is willing to accept even major failures in the eyes of the world in order to preserve the high values that he or she believes in.If we are willing to sell our ideals, our ethics, our character, our integrity, and our very soul for the adoration of this world, then our so called self confidence will be built on a foundation of sand. It has no real substance and it can bring us no real fulfillment.

Low self esteem really means a lack of real inner fulfillment. Six common indicators of low self esteem are,

1. People with low self esteem like to gossip. Why? Because that is what gives them pleasure. They do not have any substance inside. On the other hand, people who are actually self confident speak of their ideals in life and not of the faults of others.

2. A person with low self esteem is quick to criticize others, whereas a person with some inner fulfillment is respectful to others, he is naturally longing to show respect to others, to be caring toward others.

3. A person with low self esteem is arrogant. He thinks “I have done this, I have conquered these nations, I have made these millions, and I have won these tournaments and so on. They are very eager to try to convince other people of how great they are, how successful they are, and what they have accomplished within this world. But a person with actual self confidence is humble. Why? Because they simply do not need to impress people with cheap words of conceit. If you are actually very weak within, you have to brag about whatever great or little things you have done to try to get the approval, the recognition, and the adoration of others. But if you have inner fulfillment, if you have confidence in yourselves, you do not need that.

Once a sage in the Himalayas told me that when you do something good and you tell somebody about what you did, by that telling you exhaust most of the credits of what you have done.

4. In the world today we want to take credit for what we have not done and we want to give blame to others for what we have done.This is another quality of a person with low self esteem. He makes excuses, and blames others for their apparent shortcomings, whereas a person of self confidence does not make excuses, does not blame others, and takes responsibility of what they have done or what they have not done, and is always striving to improve.

5. Persons with low self esteem are dependent on the appreciation, praise and approval of others, whereas a person with self confidence is willing to speak what is true and do what is right even if it is very unpopular. Especially for the youth in the world today association is such a powerful influence. Most people smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol or do all illicit things, not simply because they really want to do it. They do it because they want to look cool and they want to be accepted by the people around them. But integrity means we understand what is right and we do it-even if people criticize us, even if people make jokes or laugh at us. Eventually, those same people will come to us when they are in trouble because they understand that here is a person with integrity.

6. Those with low self esteem are easily jealous about other people successes. What is jealousy? That means we are so hollow, so empty within, there is so much lack of fulfillment in our worth, our value, and who we are that we actually have to feel a type of hatred and jealousy towards others who appears to be better. A person with real self confidence is the well wisher of everyone. He is not so concerned about reputation but is concerned with character. He is not so concerned with what one can get and what one can prove to others through fashion, through way of speaking, through way of talking and by the type of furniture one has at home. He is more concerned with what they are giving to others. Actual self confidence does not mean we become absorbed in our egoistic self. The art of real self consciousness is to become selfless, because in becoming selfless there is inner fulfillment.

So it is very important to understand that real self confidence is not simply about what I have achieved and what I have conquered, because that kind of self confidence does not bring any real inner fulfillment: whatever you do, you always have to have more, more and more. Real self confidence is when we are actually finding fulfillment and satisfaction with who we are and what we represent within this world.Now some fools may think that that type of self confidence, that type of inner peace is an impediment to making great strives of achievements in this world. The opposite is however true. The purer our motive, the greater courage and faith we will have to accomplish things way beyond the horizon of even our imagination. When we have such inner self confidence, anything we pursue is actually easy. It may be difficult mentally and it may be difficult physically but when we have the will, the confidence and the faith, that makes anything easy.




Improve Your Self Confidence

Self-confidence is an important part of your personality. How you believe in yourself will determine how you project yourself to other people. Self-confidence can either make you a leader or a follower. How much self- confidence you have will even be able to determine how far you can go in life. A big factor in achieving success in life is having a healthy dose of self-confidence.

But what really is self-confidence? Self-confidence is that inherent trait that allows you to complete a difficult or even dangerous task. It is the belief in yourself and your skills and capabilities and to what extent you think it can take you.

Whenever you ask yourself, “Can I do it?” and you answer, “Yes, I can.”, that is self-confidence working for you. Feeling confident of yourself means that you are sure of your own skills and ability to succeed in a given task. Self-confidence is an internal determination or judgment of how really sure you are of your own skills when you put them into practice.

Your confidence in being able to do something is based on your track record of succeeding in various similar tasks. The feeling of self-confidence is learned and can be passed from one task to another. If you do not believe that you cannot succeed in doing a certain task, chances are, you may be lacking in self-confidence.

In order to succeed in life, it is important to develop self-confidence. It will give you the courage to look at every task with a grain of salt, knowing that you are more than able to see yourself through it without a hitch. But improving on your self-confidence may take some work. Here are some tips that may be able to help you out.

Reinforce confidence in yourself through self-talk.

Encouraging yourself will help in building up your courage whenever you are faced with a certain task. Always remember to think positive. Talking to your inner-self may just be the confirmation that you will need in order to make that first step and the next one and the next.

Try breaking each task into smaller units.

When you try to look at a certain task as a whole, you may be overwhelmed at all the work that lay before you. This can sometime undermine your ability to do it all. But when you try to look at a certain tasks as a number of small steps put together, then you can clearly see that it is not such an insurmountable task.

Looking at a task as a series of smaller steps also makes you go through a series of successes. As you finish each small step, it gives you a confidence boost that will encourage you to do the next one.

Try to acknowledge your success and do not downplay it.

People that lack in self-confidence always believe that everything that they do successfully happen by chance and not through their own work. Every time you are successful in doing a task, whether it be big or small, learn to congratulate your self. You can take credit for your successes without being to boastful about it. It will further help you develop your self-confidence.

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Two Powerful Ways to Boost Your Self Confidence Quickly

Low self confidence can stand in your way just when you need it most; where you cannot be at your best, where you start to stumble or stutter, where you start looking down at your shoes, where you fidget or turn away and walk back into your limited comfort zone.

Well, I have great news for you!

Feeling and becoming confident quickly, almost instantaneously, is possible, and you can do it. With repetition and continued practise within a short period of time you will have all the confidence that you ever wanted; you can have supreme, unlimited self confidence.

Here are two powerful ways to get you started. They will help you gain self confidence and make you feel better about yourself quickly:

1. Do something you are good at

When you do something that you are competent and proficient at, you will quickly feel the surge of self confidence that comes with the feeling behind your skill and talent.

What are you great at? Painting, writing, cooking, jogging, holding parties and conferences, perhaps gardening. What is your strongest talent or skill? Once you have identified what you feel awesome at, think deep how that strength makes you feel. Allow that self confidence to flow through your entire body.

Keep focused on those feelings. And when you feel that you are ready think about the situation or event you do not feel comfortable about and transfer the confident feelings into that situation.

Feel yourself being more competent, courageous and confident as you tackle that situation. At your peak of confidence say three times, ‘Yes, that’s me!’ and notice how much more confident you have become.

Do that technique daily or as often as you can so as to strengthen it.

2. Remember all the things you have accomplished

This technique is an extension of the one above. Get yourself a note pad and jot down as many accomplishments that you can remember; particularly write the ones that you thought were going to be hard, but ended up being rather easy, or easier than you had anticipated.

Here are a few examples: any exams that you passed despite thinking that you wouldn’t; or an important meeting that you chaired with greater ease and confidence than you expected; hosted a party for your child that you never thought you could pull off. Think of as many scenarios as you can remember.

The idea here is to use these successful memories as points of reference. You thought you would never achieve them and yet you did. What does that tell you? It tells you that you have more self confidence that you think you have.

Combine the two strategies together and you have the ingredients to be a confident winner. Reinforce them with repetition and in due course nothing can stop you doing whatever you want or desire.

By the way, do you want to learn more about how you can increase your self esteem to become a more confident winner? If you do, I suggest you check this out: Affirmations Self Esteem

When you boost your motivation a few degrees, you can literally turn your life around. To find out How to Boost Your Motivation and Build Self Confidence, visit: http://www.boostyourmotivation.co.uk/


The Heart of Self-Confidence

In order to accomplish our life goals we need self-confidence. What is self-confidence, where does it come from, and how do we cultivate it?

Mencius, my favorite Chinese Sage, believed that confidence comes from “ch’i,” the universal source of energy. This power that moves through us has many names — eros, elan vital, libido, kundalini.

The brilliant philosopher, Paul Tillich, called self-confidence “the courage to be.” Possessing this courage means being your authentic self in the face of any danger.

Tillich believed that if we lack such confidence it means we are distanced from our essential nature. Mencius believed this, too. His name for our essential nature was heart. This definition of heart as our essential nature has been found around the world throughout history. In one example, St. Augustine said, “The heart is where I am whatever I am.” Mencius said, “pity the man who has lost his heart and does not go out and recover it.” He, too, believed our lack of strength came from being distanced from what we actually are.

Mencius said that when we are connected to our hearts, we have “free-flowing ch’i.” This means that when we are our true selves we have the ultimate connection to the endless and powerful supply of energy from the universe. It is when we are in touch with this source that we can do anything we set our minds to.

Having this power and confidence is another aspect of our entelechy, that which we are meant to be. We grow this power and self-confidence through being properly parented. When we get what we need from the world, our brain is pumped with chemicals like dopamine, which fills us with energy and confidence. When we are disappointed in life, our dopamine levels drop and we feel like the air has been taken out of our balloon. Getting sufficient positive reflection growing up is the real Popeye’s spinach. When we do not get enough positive support growing up, we chronically have low supplies of dopamine. This can lead us to feel enervated and insecure. We learn that being who we truly are is no good, and so we hide those essential aspects of ourselves. We come to believe that we are not the glorious beings that we are. We live in shame, which is the opposite of having “free-flowing ch’i,” or self-confidence. Having problems with energy and confidence are sure signs that we have a lost heart.

With self-confidence, we believe in our value and capacities. We can face any obstacle. We can handle the risks of rejection, failure, and mistake. When we live in shame, we believe we are less than, and incapable.

How do we recover our hearts, develop the courage to be, reconnect with our essential being, and find access to our ch’i?

In the fairy tale, Maid Lena, nothing grows in the center of a farm. This is a symbol for a disconnection from heart and ch’i. When we are disconnected from this source of power, there is something in our center where nothing grows. The youngest son, Esben, lives a life mooning about. He is put down by his brothers. He lives in shame, and has no motivation or confidence. After his brothers fail at the task of figuring out why nothing will grow in the center of the farm, Esben determines that he will find out. When his father tries to dissuade him from going, he says, “I’m going, I’m going, I’m going!” When he gets there, he feels fear, but he keeps his feet on the ground, breathes, and determines to face whatever happens. A horrific storm begins. He sees three demons flying straight at him. He looks the demons right in the eye. As they get closer they turn into three swans. Then, just before they reach him, they transform into three beautiful princesses. One of the princesses promises to marry him if he spends the following year completing three impossible tasks. When he returns to the farm he looks completely different. He is filled with power and beauty. After fulfilling the princess’s wish, they marry and he becomes king.

What does this fairy tale have to tell us about recovering our hearts and finding our self-confidence? First, despite the lack of confidence shown in him by others and his own lack of energy, he determines to find the source of his problems. No matter how frightened he is about facing his demons, he doesn’t run away. When he does, he discovers that what he had been avoiding actually becomes the source of his inspiration. By going to the empty place and staring down his fears, he becomes transformed. This doesn’t mean that his task is complete. In fact, it means that his work now begins. But he now has enough confidence and power to complete the impossible tasks he is given, and in the end he gets all that he desires.

To find our hearts and cultivate our self-confidence, we need to follow Esben’s path. We need to begin by devoting ourselves to a life-long process of growth. Just like Esben, we must say, “I’m going!” We need to go to the empty place within ourselves no matter how scary that seems. We need to learn how to go within, explore and come to understand ourselves. When we do, what we usually find is that we need to heal the wounds of our childhoods that have resulted in the formation of shame.

We must complete the impossible tasks. This means mastering our present. We need to commit ourselves to self-improvement, learning continuously, immersing ourselves in art, spending time in nature, caring for our bodies. We must practice the discipline to recognize and end our negative thinking.

Central to finding self-confidence is acting impeccably. As Mencius said, every time we do the right thing, we come into greater contact with our ch’i. We must take responsibility for our destructive behavior patterns and surrender to getting help with our addictions and compulsions. We discover that when we do the right thing, we feel good about ourselves and this is the greatest fuel for the growth of our self-confidence.

In order to grow our confidence, we need to have reciprocal, authentic relationships. Like Esben, simply meeting the princess does not win her. He must work to gain her love. We must learn how to communicate and connect with others in true intimacy. This must include both giving and receiving positive validation. Start telling people you know and love that they are extraordinary and you’ll find your own confidence growing.

Another step in growing our confidence is envisioning a better future. By using the examples of the courageous who have gone before us, we call on them for inspiration and help. We must cultivate an image of ourselves as being that which we desire to be. We need to read stories of heroes like Esben, because when we do we realize that we are potentially kings. To fulfill our nature we simply have to follow the path of the heroes who have gone before.

This plan for self-cultivation which provides us access to the “free-flowing ch’i” which is the core of our self-confidence, is known in Asian philosophy as “the Way,” or the Dao. When we live in accordance with the way every day, we find our hearts. By living according to our core truths, we will grow in self-confidence until we can overcome any obstacle, face any fear, achieve any goal, and find true fulfillment and happiness. As Esben learned, that which we fear turns out to be the source of our power. When we follow the way, transformation is guaranteed.

Glenn Berger, PhD, is a psychotherapist, author, blogger and transformational leader with a private practice in New York City and Westchester, NY. Visit his blog at http://www.GlennBergerBlog.wordpress.com, or his website at http://www.GlennBerger.com.


7 Tips For Developing Self-Confidence

Whether it’s for business or for your social life, self-confidence is a skill which can be developed. Just the fact that you’re reading this shows that it can be done…otherwise, why would you read an article on a subject which is impossible?! You see what I mean?

Having coming from a very dysfunctional family who continually belittled me at every turn, it has taken a lot for me to come to a point in my life where I can safely say that I am very self-confident. If I can do it, so can you!

There are many tips which I could share with you on developing self-confidence; but, let’s go over a few very simple ones that you can implement starting right now:

1) Think back to a time when you overcame an adversity. I don’t care how far you have to go back and I don’t care how “small” the adversity was. The point is: you did it then and you can do it again. The same skill set is required for any challenge, big or small. It’s simply a matter of transferring those skills from one situation to another.

2) Think about others who had bigger challenges than the ones you face and managed to overcome them. Maybe these individuals had greater handicaps than you do. Think about it: if they did it, you can do it. Learn from their example.

3) Talk to someone who knows you well and who you trust to give you honest, objective feedback. Ask them what skills you have which could improve your situation. Then, listen without challenging them. You might be surprised at what they suggest!

4) It might sound corny…but, put a smile on your face, take a deep breath and take on your challenging situation. Sometimes, just the act of getting started is enough to give you the courage to get through the situation.

5) Visualize yourself succeeding at what you want to do. Imagine every detail about your imagined success. Actually FEEL what it will be like as you’re succeeding and once you’ve succeeded. Your subconscious can’t distinguish between fantasy and reality; so, when you approach your challenge in real life, your subconscious will perceive this as “familiar” which will make it easier for you.

6) Think of someone of your gender who you admire. Now, pretend you’re that person in this challenging situation. What would they do? How would they respond? Now, BE that person. Obviously, you’re not going to impersonate that person 100%; but, adopt enough of their characteristics to carry you through this challenge.

7) Keep reminding yourself that you can do this. Self-talk is the best way to encourage you through the situation. Even if you’re not as successful as you’d hope to be, make sure your self-talk about the situation is positive so that when you approach a similar situation, you’ll have learnt enough to have greater success the next time around. You can learn from every situation.

Now that I’ve given you some starter tips, don’t waste any time implementing them! One of my most preferred quotes is: “You don’t have to get it right…you just have to get it going!”

Jennifer Bloom



Your Aim: Instant Self-Confidence

Healing low self-esteem with a wave of a wand is a day-dream for many ordinary people. But it doesn’t change the fact, that you really can do something to improve your poor self-esteem in a very short period of time. You need two things – a few tips about self-esteem exercises and a decent dose of determination.

Building self-confidence is a multi-task activity. It doesn’t mean it’s difficult, because it’s not. It’s easier than you think. There are lots of ways to improve your self-esteem. You need changes on a few levels – change of attitude towards others, change of state of mind and even change of look. Let’s talk about the last one. If it sounds a bit strange for you, look at – for example – young girls, teenagers. Lack of self-esteem is very common amongst them. They are trying to change it by changing they look in the first place.

Proper clothes – stylish and fashionable – can literally boost your courage and self-confidence in seconds. It can give you an instant boost and that’s why it is one of the easiest ways of building self-esteem. A tip of that kind, that could be very useful for you? Start changing your look from… a smile. Yes, it’s so simple. When you feel your poor self-esteem is overwhelming, a smile will make you feel better. It won’t change you into totally new, self-confident man, but smile is so strongly associated with high self-esteem and leadership, that you will definitely appear more confident to others.

The same with the rest of your physical appearance. When you have fashionable clothes, good make-up or clean shoes (remember about a smile!), you look like self-confident man. When you feel like that others will get an impression that this is the way you really are (maintaining eye contact will strengthen that impression).

Another tip is related to attitude. You’ve got to convince yourself, that your interlocutor is a man like you. Not better and not worse than you or anyone else in the world. It may sound strange, but that is one of the most important points when it comes to building self-esteem. Inferiority complex is a feeling that one is inferior to others, and – believe me! – that feeling can effectively undermine your efforts to build self-esteem. So remember – no one is more or less important. Some of us are more handsome, richer or more successful in family relationships, but it doesn’t mean anything. Life is a kaleidoscope. You can meet a love of your life tomorrow, during sending your lotto coupon, which would make you a millionaire. Things like this happen all the time, you may read or hear about them. Keep it in mind, but don’t forget about the basic truth – focus on the here and now. Have your dreams, but healing low self-esteem starts every moment, starts right now. Don’t treat it like a “future task”, don’t live your life with a thought like “I will do/win something one day”.

And last but not least – your inner state of mind. It’s in fact the most valuable tool you have. While computers have their programmes, you have your very own programme in your head and in your heart. Your programme knows, that you can sometimes hear other voices, saying things like: you are not to good at…don’t do it, you may lose…stop trying, it doesn’t have any sense… You may call your programme “I know my own worth”. That’s why you should know, what exactly self-esteem is and what it means “to build self-esteem”. I suggest you should read more on the ways to build self-confidence. You don’t risk anything – it can only help.

Our mission is to improve your life at every level. In other words – to help you enjoy your everyday living to the maximum. Repeating after John Lennon: it’s easy if you try. I believe it works just like that.

Transparency is an essential part of our community. Everything is clear in here – you decide which ebook is good for you. Choose the one you like. We still search the net to find the best content for you. Our aim is to give you as many possibilities of choice as we can.

So here you are – absolutely free, life-changing eBooks, which would make you feel fulfilled man: with a healthy relationship, great work and interesting hobby.

Just read and enjoy.

Mark Gardner
Self Improvement Library